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Movie Review

Avatar (2009)

After reading all the hate reviews surrounding this movie, I’ve really come to pity the Millennials and their successors, These generations have become so jaded to life, while never having any actual exposure to an environmental revolution other than what they’ve been indoctrinated to believe, are now so tainted that they can’t simply enjoy a new experience like Avatar. Every character is shallow unless they constantly preach an agenda-driven mantra of extreme global cooling/warming man-made destruction, trans-bisexual anti-homogeneous gender nullification or some other left-wing dribble involving renewable energy, a meat-free diet or that somehow one race’s life matters more than another because of the indignities they suffered centuries ago. Now, you have to deny that 4k eyecandy graphics are BORING to fit in with the new generation of beatniks and that CGI is killing the movie industry, even though all those that insist on it would never sit down and watch a standard definition B&W film from the 1950s, even if their life depended on it.

Creating a self-sustaining universe is something ever so difficult. Only a few (Tolkien, Lucas, Roddenberry & Stan Lee come immediately to mind) have been able to pull it off with success. The DETAIL that you need to weave is so intense that only a few Masters have been able to pull it off and have their legacy extend beyond a single work. The world of Avatar could easily be included into that mix. Just watching how the unique creatures breathed, their interactions with the surrounding environment and how life on that planet communed with itself was enough to make me want for more. Yes, the graphics today in 2021 might not be that impressive, but for something a decade old, they truly were breathtaking. Of course, this is coming from a person who grew up during the Beta-Max – VHS war, in an era when your home phone broke, you had to get to the Ma Bell Telephone Store to get a replacement (because you only rented your home phone from the utility) and where 4-bit video game graphics were groundbreaking.

There are 2 aspects of graphics that are the most difficult to program: running water and the human hand. These are the two things that the industry grades the most difficult and expects to expose the weakness of substandard work. Both of these are flawlessly done in the film and come off as exceptionally lifelike. After that, everything else is gravy and is believable to the standard eye. The amount of background activity is breathtaking and if you happen to look beyond the main protagonists on the screen, you can get lost with the environmental interaction. Unfortunately, most people won’t be able to see the forest from the trees and never enjoy the graphical ballet going on in the background.

While those less-versed might not see it, Avatar is a modern version of the American Western; where the white-male protagonist is adopted by the native tribe and instructed in their ways of life and existence. It has been done time and time again (Bianco Apache, The Savage, Little Big Man, The Light in the Forest), and this film follows the doctrine to the letter. Avatar is nothing more than a new-age telling of the same old story of Empire vs. Indigenous people on a planetary scale, albeit with better graphics and new age technology. Yes, it’s not a new tale. But honestly, after millennia after millennia of humans telling stories, how many original tales are still untold? Besides that, everything else about the film is almost perfect. The cinematography, the editing, the graphics and even the dialog fits the movie like a glove. If you weren’t impressed, then go take a peek at Cool World or Who Framed Roger Rabbit and see how far we’ve come in just a few short decades. While not the perfect film, it definitely entertains and leaves the viewer wanting for more. Highly recommended with an 8 out of 10 score.

Categories
Movie Review

Star Slammer (1986)

To begin with, this film is an excellent example of 80s Cheese and portrays everything of that decade in a single glance: Big Hair, Gratuitous Unnecessary Nudity, Hot Women and a divergence from the standard Hollywood formula. Trying to meld the aura of Barbarella and the context of Star Wars, this was just another one of the low-budget space films looking to cash in on the interest that Close Encounters and Star Wars created.

Believe it or not, this would have been a valid property to redo during the 4-year stint of Hollywood’s attempt to whitewash the #metoo scandal, as most of the characters in this film were strong female leads with little to no manly men looking to steal the show. Unfortunately, the short-sightedness of the industry only gave us sub-par recreations of Ghostbusters or Ocean’s 11, along with numerous exquisite female failures, before Hollywood stopped the madness of trying to recreate women in man’s image.

Star Slammer (AKA Prison Ship… AKA The Adventures of Taura) is a decent film that, with the proper dialog tweaks and a change of cast into the high-dollar range, could have been something of note. The movie doesn’t suck in its current incarnation, just that it could have been extraordinary if done with a budget above the $200,000 range. One should note the number of overly-attractive C-Grade actresses that appear in this film that never did make the grade and break through to A-Grade Hollywood works.

One should mention the use of stock footage that appears in the film. For those astute, you are sure to notice footage from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and Battle Beyond the Stars (some even claim the original Battlestar Galactica footage made an appearance but I didn’t personally see any of that in my first viewing) for their Earth City footage along with the space battles near the end of the film. This was just another handicap for the film and could have been erased if proper financing could have been secured.

All in all, Star Slammer is a worthy rainy Saturday Afternoon endeavor (albeit with the couple of extra topless breast-shots scattered throughout the film) to help you relive your childhood. It won’t win any awards, nor break any cinema ground, but it will keep you entertained for the 1.75 hours of film-time it garners. Have a few cocktails before your viewing and I’m sure you will enjoy your time spent.

If you would like to watch this movie for free… Here is the link… https://youtu.be/bXwyAnvdEqU . Get it while it is available, before big internet closes down all the free avenues for your viewing pleasure…